Life's Ups and Downs

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

A Crackhead Christmas

After 2 days of driving over the Christmas holidays, my boy and I were finally back home and heading to my mother's for Christmas dinner. We exited the highway and at the corner a man was standing there with a sign that read, "Homeless ... will work for food." I immediately began making comments about crackheads asking for money and my boy shhhhh'd me because the sunroof was open. I felt kind of bad but we had yummy cookies in the car so I said, "Let's offer him some cookies. We'll see if he's really hungry or just trying to get $$ to score some drugs."

My boy rolled down the window and asked the man if he wanted some cookies. "What?" he asked. "White chocolate, macadamia nut cookies," my boy said.

"No thanks, I'm on a low carb diet."

Yes, the homeless, will work for food guy was doing Atkins. Wow! Totally f*cked up but it did make me laugh.

I hope you had a merry Christmas.

Happy Wednesday!


Blogger Burg said...

I HATE those people!! There was one on a certain street corner daily around here. They usually stood right across the street from the Denny's that had "help wanted" posted on their sign in big lights. Flippin' a burger may not be a big career move, but it's sure better than nothing when you're looking.. And what's to stop one from looking for something better??

Hell.. I'd have thrown him the classified ads instead of offering a cookie.. Who'd have thought? A low-carb bum! Last time I checked a loaf of bread was way cheaper than meat of any kind. Maybe that's why he's homeless!

1:38 AM  
Blogger Trée said...

That's funny. I've got all the food I want and yet, still, I was eating cookies left and right. That dude has some discipline. You think he could convert that drive, determination, vision, goal-setting, and (he is working the holidays) work ethic into a better paying gig. :-D

9:05 AM  
Blogger Kat_womanx2 said...

I always wanted to ask...Will work for food? How about working for a friggin paycheck you dip shit!!! Those people burn my ass...they can stand outside for HOURSSSSSSSSSS but heaven forbid they sit in a cool air conditioned office and do telemarketing ...WTF?!?!?

11:56 AM  
Blogger OneHungMan said...

Ran into a guy one time on the corner holding a similar sign. He was wearing a hat from The Masters (the big golf tournament). You can't get those hats just anywhere. You can only order them from the golf course in Augusta, GA or at their website.

You don't often see homeless fucks wearing $30 caps.

2:54 PM  
Blogger Get Off My Lawn! said...

I've heard stories about people parking their convertibles downtown and panhandling all day before driving to their two car garage and five bedroom home. But I have never witnessed such behaviour. The low carb diet remark does seem a bit out of place.

8:07 PM  
Blogger tsduff said...

I once refused to give a homeless woman money when she was begging. Feeling badly, I whipped into the McDonalds next door, bought a cheeseburger, fries, and a cup of hot coffee, and went to back to find her in the parking lot. She was gone. I felt so badly.

12:22 AM  
Blogger Keshi said...

Happy New Year dahlin!


12:42 AM  
Blogger Becky L said...

That's insane!

8:49 AM  
Blogger Lightning Bug's Butt said...

Yeah. We have to upgrade our definitions of "starving" and "poor" in the USA.

The poor and starving are the fattest among us!

I'll take those cookies if he doesn't want them!

3:01 PM  
Blogger kimber the wolfgrrrl said...

I once gave my sandwich to a homeless man, who sniffed it once, said, "Ugh, it's sourdough," and handed it back to me. WTF! Now, I volunteer with organizations, and give my time rather than my money.... less angst that way.

Happy New Year to you!

4:47 PM  
Blogger Sherri said...

That just totally cracked me up! I don't see this type of thing very often where I live, normally it's just the bike people fighting over pop cans from gas station trash cans.

8:05 PM  
Anonymous CresceNet said...

Gostei muito desse post e seu blog é muito interessante, vou passar por aqui sempre =) Depois dá uma passada lá no meu site, que é sobre o CresceNet, espero que goste. O endereço dele é . Um abraço.

5:59 AM  
Blogger Keshi said...

haha! :)


10:18 PM  
Blogger Bella said...

That's hilarious!!!

8:24 PM  
Blogger Ekta said...

that cracked me up!!
U never know how life surprises u!..
and hey happy new yr to u...hope u have a fab yr ahead!

6:55 AM  
Blogger ande spelled backwards said...

A Sociology Professor of mine, and Captain of the Rapid City Police Dept., told me that some of these peeps rake in six digits annually being "homeless", or actually posing as such because it can actually pay quite well.

5:09 PM  
Blogger Miss Hope said...

Let me know when you're driving by here...I totally would not turn down a cookie handout.

9:40 AM  
Blogger Spider Girl said...

I hope if I'm ever in down and out circumstances I'll still be able to hold out for fruits and veggies.

But even in my prosperous circumstances, I'd find it difficult to turn down white chocolate macadamia nut cookies....

11:00 PM  

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