Stab Me in the Eye ... Please

Today was some kind of day ... whew!

It started all right but I was really tired. My boy and I went to the Jack Johnson concert last night and got home kind of late. Of course, when your brain is functioning at half speed, everyone wants a piece of you immediately!! OMG!! Let me finish my diet coke in peace first ... PLEASE!!!!!

Here's what really got to me though. I was walking down the hall to the restroom and I saw our tech guy. Keep in mind, my entire conversations with this man in 1 1/2 years have been, "How are you?" "I am fine." So, thinking this is a normal question, I ask, "How are you today?" Well, the floodgates opened and I was subjected to a 30 minute conversation about his marital problems.

Are you kidding me?!! So, because I suffered, unto you I pass the misery:

He thinks his wife is cheating on him with the kids' soccer coach.
She kicked him out of the house.
She didn't pay the mortgage for 7 months and he's just finding out about it.
He doesn't know why she is unhappy but she has changed so much, she isn't the same person anymore.
He tried to make her happy and loves her desperately and doesn't know what to do.

After his loooooooong winded story, I am about to die! I have to pee so badly that I'm hopping from foot to foot, flopping around like a fish out of water. At this point, there is no tact, no caring, and no understanding left in my body. I just want to pee ... NOW!!

I told him this:
Problems in a marriage are never one-sided. Have you thought about counseling?
It sounds like you are in a painful situation and I'm sorry for it but I don't know you or your wife well enough to offer advice.

He insisted he wanted it. Now, my eyes are rolling back in my head and I swear, I heard water dripping somewhere which was making the situation worse! I am clenching my teeth and fighting the urge to pee all over myself!! I'm pretty sure, at that moment, that I was in danger of dying of urine overload! My bladder was about to explode!!

Now I'm worried that I am going to be guru girl to this man, and his sounding board, as he sorts out his marriage. Not to be rude, but come on!!! I am not his friend. I don't want to be his friend. And frankly, I have enough to handle in my own life without caring what happens in his. Does that make me evil? Maybe, maybe not ... but it makes me want to stab myself in the eye 25 times with my pencil if I am to be subjected to his problems again.

Happy Thursday!