Tech Boy and Mission Impossible

Feel like an update on tech boy and his marital problems? Neither did I. And the story begins ...

Tech boy's office is in the middle of a hallway near the restroom and on the way to the diet coke machines. It is ground zero, the one place that you have to pass unless you want to take the long way around, through an entire department full of people popping their heads over their cubes to see who is passing by. It looks like that wack-a-mole game any time you walk through and it makes me uncomfortable to have people staring at me, counting how many trips to the restroom I take or cigarette breaks I go on, beside the fact that I have made a conscious decision to speak to as few people in my office as I can manage every day because I, well, I just don't want to.

Anyway, to avoid tech boy cornering me and forcing me to listen to his problems, I have been taking the long route but I thought I was safe today. I thought tech boy was out of the office. I hadn't heard a single page for him all day. Ohhhhhh no, the minute I saunter by his office, tech boy, with his super-spidey senses, ambushes me! I was cornered again with no pencil in sight to begin stabbing out my eyes! As he was speaking, I began mentally pounding my head on the wall behind me, wishing with every fiber in my being that his tongue would begin to swell so he couldn't speak anymore. No such luck.

They are getting a divorce, the papers have been filed. He misses his family. He wants his wife back. He doesn't enjoy being single and is killing himself with thoughts of his wife and the soccer coach in bed. Umm ... yeah ... TMI!! Again, you are a hello acquaintence only!! It doesn't help matters that he sees this guy at the soccer games he attends, almost every weekend ... and by the way, his son scored the winning goal last weekend. I won't give you the play by play of the soccer action. At this point in his speech, I began making a list of the things I could sculpt out of SPAM and wondering if lighting my hair on fire would be enough of a distraction to make him quit speaking.

Blessedly, FINALLY!!, a page came over the intercom system for him. I was saved and the angel choir began singing!

So, now I have 2 options, 4 if you consider murdering him or hacking off my ears in the hopes that I will never hear his voice again options. I can either take the long route every time I leave my desk or I can invent an invisibility suit so I can sneak by tech boy's office undetected! Mission impossible, so I am stuck with the long walk and I HATE EXCERCISE! D*mn that cheating wife of his!!