Just Zap Em All!!!

Today was a little bit better than yesterday but I still think carrying a stun gun into my workplace should be allowed. Some people just shouldn't speak. You know how some countries have mandatory birth control to stop overcrowding? Well, I think my job should have mandatory muzzling for those unfortunate people that don't know when to shut the heck up and stop irritating me. Enough said on that.

I need help! My girlfriend throws an annual "Best Little Whorehouse in Texas" Halloween party and I can't come up with a costume. You get the theme, I'm sure. Costumes range from the really over the top crazy stuff to your standard '70's pimps and ho's.
The first year I went as a dominatrix and my boy was a REALLY ugly Catholic schoolgirl.


Last year, my boy was a greasy pimp and I was his crack whore. This year, he wants to go as one of the porn stars from Boogie Nights but there is no way I'm going to be Roller Girl. Quite frankly, the thought of jello shots, roller skates, and a swimming pool terrify me.

I was thinking maybe a naughty girlscout from troop 69 but it just doesn't seem too original. Any ideas. I have 2 weeks to come up with something fabulous. Help!!