Reunions - Fear or Fun?

My friend, Jamie, recently had a cast reunion from one the shows that we performed in while in our early 20's. It was fun seeing everyone but a little hard. Not only had it been about 12 or 13 years since I'd laid eyes on most of these people, but I also had to deal with the random gray hair that had popped up, the "smile lines" around my eyes, and the fact that I was no longer a size 4.

Add to that, I just booked my ticket to South Dakota for the centennial of the town that I grew up in. I moved away the summer before my sophmore year of high school. There is also an all school reunion that I will be attending. On one hand, I am so excited about seeing some of my old friends and teachers again but on the other, I am incredibly nervous as well. What in the world will we talk about? Our lives are so completely different.

In planning this trip, I've come to the realization that I, while so excited, am also reverting back to my younger insecure self, asking questions like, "Will they like me? Will they think I'm pretty? Will I fit in?"

I'm not typically a person that cares overly much about what other people think. I grew out of that a long time ago. I take pride in the fact that I'm a little bit weird, or off center, as I like to say. I like that I'm not a girl who wears much make up or dresses to impress. I like that I laugh a little too loud and that I tell great dirty jokes. It doesn't bother me that some people don't "get" me. With that being said, why am I so nervous and fearful of what people that really have no impact on my life are going to think about me?

Is there a part of a woman's brain that is hard wired to insecurity at the mention of their pasts?