Am I in an Alternate Universe?

Bizarro and strange. Those 2 words totally describe my day today.

1) I put a file on my lazy co-worker's desk for final input from that side and when I went to get it back, they said I didn't give it to them. The file was right there in front of me. I said, "It's right there in front of you." They picked up the file, placed it under a pile of papers and stated, "That isn't the file you gave me." I said, "Yes, it is." They said, "No, it isn't. That's another file." We went on like this for a few minutes with them refusing to show me the file or acknowledge that they had received it and finally I said, "I know I'm not on crack, are you?" They laughed it off like I was making a joke and then got up from their desk, grabbing the pile of papers, with the folder, and walked off to a meeting. I was astounded, absolutely amazed at the audacity and it really started to tick me off so I took their chair and put it in a conference room. Childish, yes. Satisfying, most definitely! I grinned the whole time they were looking for their chair and when they had to get another one and adjust it to their settings, complaining the whole time.

2) Driving under an overpass on the way home from work, I saw a hooker with a line of men waiting their turn while she finished with another one. Ewwww .... This is why prostitution should be legalized.

3) My dog won't stop humping on one of my shoes. No matter where I put it, he's on it. I finally gave up and decided he could have it. They aren't that cute anyway.

4) My mailman was late today and I saw him when I got home from work. He looks exactly, and I mean to a "T", like one of my brothers.

5) One of my friends text messaged me saying that she wants to try a threesome and would my boy and I be interested in letting her join in. I thought she was joking but when I spoke to her on the phone, it turned out she was dead serious. I had to explain that while I loved her to death, I had no interest in me or my boy seeing her naked. I advised her to hit one of the swinger's clubs in the area.

6) While driving down a back street to avoid some traffic, I passed an all nude bar with a sign that read "All Nude Cream Corn Wrestling - Saturday Night." Totally gross but I'm going to try and get a group of people to go. How can you not go see all nude cream corn wrestling if it's available?!!

Hope your day was better than mine! Happy Wednesday!