Reunions - Fear or Fun?

My friend, Jamie, recently had a cast reunion from one the shows that we performed in while in our early 20's. It was fun seeing everyone but a little hard. Not only had it been about 12 or 13 years since I'd laid eyes on most of these people, but I also had to deal with the random gray hair that had popped up, the "smile lines" around my eyes, and the fact that I was no longer a size 4.

Add to that, I just booked my ticket to South Dakota for the centennial of the town that I grew up in. I moved away the summer before my sophmore year of high school. There is also an all school reunion that I will be attending. On one hand, I am so excited about seeing some of my old friends and teachers again but on the other, I am incredibly nervous as well. What in the world will we talk about? Our lives are so completely different.

In planning this trip, I've come to the realization that I, while so excited, am also reverting back to my younger insecure self, asking questions like, "Will they like me? Will they think I'm pretty? Will I fit in?"

I'm not typically a person that cares overly much about what other people think. I grew out of that a long time ago. I take pride in the fact that I'm a little bit weird, or off center, as I like to say. I like that I'm not a girl who wears much make up or dresses to impress. I like that I laugh a little too loud and that I tell great dirty jokes. It doesn't bother me that some people don't "get" me. With that being said, why am I so nervous and fearful of what people that really have no impact on my life are going to think about me?

Is there a part of a woman's brain that is hard wired to insecurity at the mention of their pasts?

My 29G Birthday

Yesterday, Jan 2nd, was my 29G birthday. For those of you that actually count the years past 29 and not the letters, that's 35. I was expecting it to be slightly more traumatic than it was. Surprisingly, I wasn't nearly as stressed as I thought I was going to be.

Because I am hitting my mid 30's, I informed my boy and my friends that I would be celebrating my birth WEEK and not my birth DAY this year. We kicked off the week on the first with tequila. Lots and lots of tequila! My boy made tons of food and we had an impromptu party with a couple of my girlfriends and my little brother. The evening was spent drinking the tequila mentioned before and watching some car auction where we played along at home and placed our bids, trying to match the winner of the actual auction. Kind of sounds weird but was actually very fun.

Yesterday, the real day, my boy made breakfast (even while suffering a pretty decent sized hang over) and I got my presents ... a beautiful, hand beaded purse from my boy and the Bonzai dvd game from my little brother. One of my girlfriends came over and my boy took us to the shooting range. (I've always wanted to try it.) I did all right but the noise freaked me out a little so we were done in about 45 minutes. I don't think that I will ever be comfortable around guns, just not my thing. We had dinner at Razoo's and then came home to play games with friends. Fun!

Tomorrow is shopping with my Christmas gift cards. Thursday and Friday are back to work days ... sigh ... but my boy has promised delicious dinners on both nights. Saturday is the big night out with about 15 friends. We are going to the Italian Inn for dinner. I love the singing waiters. After that, we are off to the dueling piano bar for drinks and general loud fun.

Not too shabby for an "old" lady!