Life in the Fast Lane

Busy, busy, busy. No time to post but I promise to update tomorrow.

Tech Boy 's Obnoxious Odor

The proxima in our meeting broke today and Tech Boy was called in to fix it. I'm not sure what kind of cologne he was wearing but it wasn't good. It wasn't good at all.

Sadly, I was sitting right next to the proxima and when the first wave of rancid air hit me, I almost fell out of my chair. I am highly sensitive to perfumes and can't stand heavy ones because they give me a raging headache but this was beyond headacheville. I began sneezing and my eyes started to water. It was horrible.

To top it off, he leaned in to ask if I was all right and that just made it worse. For the rest of the day, all I could smell was Tech Boy. I can still smell him and it is creeping me out. What if I can't get rid of the smell and I have horrible Tech Boy dreams tonight?!! I will promptly jump off the nearest bridge if I have any sort of Tech Boy images in my sleep, especially if he's wearing those leather pants!!

Happy Wednesday!

Hell Week

I am in meetings all this week at work and I think I might just go insane. I am sitting next to my co-worker who does no actual work and if this person asks one more stupid question, they might just get a mechanical pencil through their hand into the conference table!!

I don't know who's great idea it was to print out a 600 page document and READ IT TO THE EMPLOYEES, but whoever came up with that great concept should seriously consider hiding away in the woods somewhere because I am surely going to hunt them down, skin them with a potato peeler, and roll them in salt over the weekend.

You see what I mean, I am going insane!! INSANE!!!

Meanwhile, my in box is piling up and I have over 600 e-mails to read in just 2 days! I can't imagine how high that number will be by Friday. I will be seriously ready to go out and cause some trouble. Heck, I might even be in the frame of mind to start a bar room brawl, not that I would participate all that well having never been in a fight, but I can break a beer bottle on someone's head. It can't be all that hard.

Well, hats off to everyone this week!

Happy Tuesday!

Threadcount Love

I got new sheets with a really high threadcount. Wow!! I am never going back to cheap sheets again and will spend most of my weekend lying in bed. It's been a long week and, ahhh .... screw it, I don't care if you think I'm lazy. I just want to nap!!

Happy Friday!

Tech Boy's Wife

The cheater came to take tech boy to lunch today and wow!! Remember, Mimi, from The Drew Carey Show? It wasn't quite that bad but in a few years a definite possibility!!

She had on hot pink lipstick, fake baked to death skin, and almost fem-mullet hair but with really tall bangs. I think she got stuck in an 80's time warp.

My eyes will never be the same after tech boy's leather pants and now this!!

Happy Wednesday!

My New Toy

Tonight is the start of bad auditions for American Idol. These are some of the greatest moments in television history and I'm totally addicted!

This is the toy my boy picked up for me last week in honor of my obsession. The cool part is that it has a sucker top, gum in the handle, it lights up, and it plays music so you can sing along. I will be irritating him to death with it tonight while I laugh at the freaks that believe they have talent but in reality should probably be committed.

Happy Tuesday!

Weekend Crazies

My friends and I met Saturday night at a local sports bar to watch the Patriots play. Sadly, they did not win and in the last quarter, the band started playing which was incredibly irritating. Even yelling, "You are hurting my ears," and other obnoxious comments wouldn't make them stop. The waiter told us they were a metal band but they looked and sounded more like a bad boy band, aged about 25 years. It wasn't pretty.

After the game, we stayed around to dance, make fun of the band, and have a few beers. My boy abandoned me for the pool tables. The boy band was getting to him, I guess. I took a shot of the dance floor so you can see some of the local color. Why shirts were coming off, I cannot answer.

When I got home, I found this in my purse.

I would just like to send a simple message to my girlfriends ... if you are going to steal the flatware and send it home with me, at least make it a complete set!! I have no spoons and only 3 forks and two knives.

Happy Monday!

Tech Boy's Pants

Tech boy wore leather pants today. My eyes are still burning!!

Happy Wednesday!

Birthday Hoopla

Last week was my birthday and typically they kind of suck because it's so close to Christmas. For years, my family would hit the after Christmas clearance racks and buy me the most horrific left-over Christmas sweatshirts and sweaters. I had a wonderfully scary collection going. I would totally appreciate the sentiment of that now but when you are a teenager, not good at all.

This year was great and it turned into a week long celebration! On the actual day, my boy took me shopping for some new shoes. (I got 2 pair. Woo hoo!) We also went to the video store and got the Best of Christopher Walken Sat. Night Live dvd. (I gotta have more cowbell, baby!) After that we headed to Hooters, yes Hooters, and ate dinner. Well, the place was jam packed with men so I text messaged all my girls to join us to scope them out. We had a great time and my boy bought me a semi naughty hooters t-shirt. (Twin Peaks - We'll teach you how to get it up.) One of my friends also gave me a mullet removal shirt for my t-shirt collection with the rule that I can't wear it out on girl's night.

We came home and my boy made my favorite cinammon (sp) cake with a VERY rude candle!

We had friends over for the Rose bowl on Wednesday and then Saturday night was the girl's night out celebration. Imagine 10 girls, on the town, acting crazy. It was a fabulous night and although parts of the evening are a little fuzzy and I had a monster hang over yesterday, it was well worth it. Just ask the man in the cowboy hat with balloons attached. He had a great time too!!

Happy Monday!

Is the Stupid Fairy Walking Around Wacking People?

Good night!!! This was the longest week in the history of long weeks, in the past 10 years, in the past century .... awwww screw it, in the history of time! Things that happened this week to drive me crazy, please see below.

1. One of my clients changed 100 creatives and orders at least 48 times, and that's all I counted. On her last round of changes, I was ready to jump through the phone and carve her face off with a salad knife!

2. People bottlenecked in the middle of rush hour traffic to get a look at a homeless man sitting on the side of the road. It took me an extra hour to get home from work. Why? WHY?!!! It's not like he was stripping or anything. That would be worth slowing down for. Nope, just sitting there, drinking a beer. I almost pulled over to join him!

3. Somebody drank MY last diet coke from MY mini fridge. Enough said!

4. My mother has called me 17 times this week to ask me stupid questions that I've already answered. 17 TIMES!!! I don't even like to talk to the voices in my head that much. Give me a freaking break! The woman drives me batty!!

5. Tech Boy showed up for work. As if that isn't bad enough, he told me that he and the cheater "made sweet love" while he was on vacation. Ewwww ... did I really need that visual?

That's all I've got to share tonight. It's time for a muscle relaxer and a beer!!

One of my friends, yada yada yada, has started her own blog. Please drop by and welcome her to blogland!! (http://yadayadayada33.blogspot.com/)

Happy weekend!!

New Year

My boy and I had a very tame New Year's Eve. We played board games, made mimosas and cosmos for me, and whiskey sours for him, and ate lots of junk food. At midnight, I made him go outside and bang on pots and pans with me. It was very noisy and totally satisfying. A very nice change from the typical drive to Austin and partying all night with his college buddies.

I have a strange habit of taking naps in the middle of parties. Just 15 minutes and then I am good to go for the rest of the evening but I always find a corner, an empty room, or sometimes the couch in the middle of the party to nod off for a few minutes. Our friends are amazed at my sleeping abilities when there is so much going on around me. Last year's new year found me sleeping in the living room for my typical nap and waking up when one of my boy's friends lay down on top off me, promising to take care of me if my boy ever did me wrong. I must admit, I missed some of the noise and hustle of a large new year's party but the thought of driving yet again filled me with dread and the thought of being anywhere other than home was not satisfying so we had a quiet evening here and let drinking newbies have the roads for the night.

I hope you all had a safe and happy new year as well. Cheers to a great 2006!!