Flying Monkeys - My Posse!

I have officially made the broomstick my personal mode of transportation. When you hear your name and the song "Witchy Woman" pops into your head, it's time to acknowledge the fact that you are no longer the reasonably sane, if a bit quirky, individual that you used to be and should now be traveling with your own group of flying monkeys!

Yes, I fully admit that I have been working too many hours with too little appreciation and my personality has undergone a DRASTIC change. I don't think, at least to my knowledge, that I have ever been referred to as an out and out bitch but lately, I think I deserve that title and more.

I caught myself this weekend snapping at my boy for absolutely no reason and you've all heard about my meltdown with Tech Boy. I swear, I hear some of the things I'm saying as they come out of my mouth but I am completely powerless to stop them.

I have made a promise to myself that I will be nicer to those around me, even if I am wishing inside that a pack of Tickle Me Elmos would violently attack them, and I will keep a smile on my face even if the sound of someone's voice, namely Tech Boy's, makes me want to squirt liquid paper in my ears to drown out the sound.

I vow I will be nicer if it kills me and, quite frankly, it just might!!

Happy Monday!

Texas Twang

A girlfriend of mine sent this to me and it made me laugh. Some Texans are very hard to understand with that drawl but, for the record, we don't use y'all like that. It's more of a group identifier, not a single person.

After a Texas tourist had been served in a Las Vegas cocktail lounge, he beckoned the waitress back and said quietly, "Miss, y'all sure are a luvly, luvly lady; Can ah persuade y'all to give me a piece of ass?"

"Lord, that's the most direct proposition I've ever had!" gasped the girl. Then she looked around the room, smiled and added, "Sure, why not? You're nice lookin', too, and it's pretty slow here right now, so why don't we just slip away up to your room?"

When the pair returned half an hour later, the man sat down at the same table and the waitress asked, "Will there be anything else, sir?"

"Why yes," replied the southern gentleman. "Ah sure 'preciate what y'all Just did for me; it was real sweet and right neighborly, but where ah come from in Texas, we lack our bourbon real cold, so ah still need to trouble y'all for a piece uh ass for mah drink."


It's the middle of the afternoon and I came home to work but I don't want to log in just yet so I'm updating my blog. Good use of company time, don't you think?!

TGIF!!!

Tech Boy Bloodshed

As you know, I have been working long hours at work, bringing work home daily, basically going crazy. Today, Tech Boy just about sent me over the edge!

When you walk up to someone's desk and they are obviously short on time, do you think that's an appropriate time to ask if they can counsel you on your relationship with the cheater? I don't and I kind of lost it today when he interrupted me.

He asked if I wanted to step outside and smoke. Nope, no time. When I told him that, he stood at my desk hemming and hawing and finally blurted out that he needed some advice. Normally, I am, if not nice, at least reasonably patient with Tech Boy. Today, with papers stacked everywhere, the phone ringing off the hook, my co-worker who does no actual work talking on the phone in the background about their upcoming birthday bash, and the seconds ticking by loudly in my head, his question sent me a little over the line to the dark side!!

I looked at him, glaring daggers I'm sure, and said in my most sarcastic tone, "I'm sorry that my work and absorption in it are cutting into your counseling. Of course, I would LOVE to step outside so I can listen to you whine about your personal life." He obviously, didn't take this very well and slunk away like a thief in the night. Honestly, I feel really bad about being so mean. I just sort of lost it in that moment.

I know that I should apologize but I also know that will turn into an hour long conversation about the cheater and I am just not up to it. Ergggg .... I'm pretty sure it's time for me to buy the Darth Vadar costume and begin wearing it!

Happy Wednesday! (At least I think it's Wednesday. I've lost track of the days since I have no life outside of work!)

And So, It Begins again!

It's Sunday and I just finished up work that I brought home with me. How sad is it that the actual work week hasn't started and I've already put in 4 hours? I would have done more but I got logged out of the system. Oh well, I'd rather be in the other room with my boy anyway!

I have to say that I have never been a very career or job oriented individual. It's a trite saying but I work to live, not live to work. If I didn't like my boss so much, I would so NOT be putting in the hours that I am. Unfortunately, I do like my boss. I have been promised that help is coming my way soon. It better be real soon because I am on the fast track to burn out.

On a happier note, I did get to spend last night with my boy, just the two of us laughing and having fun. We went out to dinner at a Greek place we've both been looking forward to and after that we got a couple bottles of wine to bring home. We tried to watch SAW II but it was disappointing so we sat and talked for a couple of hours. Very nice. Very nice indeed.

I will post again later this week. I'm sorry for the lack lately. Hopefully, work will ease up soon and I can get back to a normal posting schedule again. I miss my blogger friends!!

Happy Sunday!

Birthday Bash

My friend A's birthday was this past weekend and we had a great time. Some of the girls and I got together and devised a list of stunts that she had to perform. See below for a couple of her tasks. She lucked out because we ran into a bachelor party and they were more than willing to participate.

1. Lick every bald man's head. (BTW, she loves bald heads. This was not a challenge except for the sweat factor and after a few shots ... she didn't care about that!) completed
2. Air band in the street ... find a drummer, guitar player, and key boardist to help her sing, "You say it's your birthday. It's my birthday too.) Not completed
3. Grab a guy's package. completed, picture to come later
4. Give someone a hickey. completed on bachelor party guy
5. Find someone to moon you. completed
6. Sing "I'm a little Teapot" in the street. completed
7.0 Find a man wearing a thong. He must show us. sadly, not completed ... it would have been a great picture
8. Lots of spanking. completed ... I doubt she can sit down yet. People were MEAN on that one.

That's enough for now. You would think by reading this that we are all teenagers but, sadly, we are all immature 30 somethings.

I am still working like a crazy beast with no end in sight. I'm pretty sure that I am going to either keel over of a heart attack or go completely insane within the next couple of weeks. Ergh .........

Happy Tuesday!

Is Crack the Way to Go?

I'm sorry for my lack of posts lately. I have been working monster hours at my job and it's going to continue for the next couple of months at least. I am exhausted and may have to take up crack to complete everything that needs to be done! I promise to try and post at least 2x a week, 3 if I can squeeze it in. I miss all my blogger friends' comments and blogs!

Not too much else to report. On Friday, I went to a sex toy party and was completely blown away by some of the new items out there. Can someone tell me why I would need a spiral shaped, vibrating, light up "pleasure toy" for my home? It looked really scary to me. REALLY SCARY!!!

This weekend is my friend, A's, birthday. We have a massive scavenger hunt/stunt list for her to complete. I'll give you more details next week but I can't list any of the very outrageous things she'll be doing because she reads my blog. Good luck, A!! It's going to be FUN!

I hope you are all getting to spend more time with your families than I am. I think my boy thought a stranger was walking in the front door tonight. It's been so long since we've spent an evening together ... sigh.

Happy Tuesday!