And, the World Mourns

Sadly, Sam, The 3 Time World's Ugliest Dog had to be put to sleep on Friday, November 22. Please join me in a moment of silence in remembrance of this freaking ugly dog ..............

No time for writing today. I've got gifts to wrap!!!

Happy Hump Day!

Holiday Madness

Sorry for the disappearing act. It was a crazy holiday week. Thursday, 2 families to get together with ... mine and my boy's. Friday, up at 3:30 to go shopping. I'm almost completely done with just a couple of movie tickets to buy. I got my boy some really great stuff this year for super cheap. I love a bargain! Saturday, more shopping and put up the tree. Sunday, another dinner with my mother ... at this point, I was really over turkey. Today, dr. appointment, yuck but had to be done. Yearly exam and flu shot. I have a lovely purple bruise from the blood drawing. Not so pretty.

Friday shopping was fun except for the fact that the family member who destroyed my rental house and cost me so much money and a year of my life was there the entire time. I was pretty upset that my aunt took it upon herself to invite this person, knowing how much I loathe him but she seemed to think it was no big deal. I guarantee that if he had put one of her kids through what he put me through, he would be buried in a forest somewhere.

I tried to not cause any scenes but I refused to look at him or speak to him. He acted like nothing was wrong and actually spoke to me and called me honey and touched my arm. At that point, I was ready to kill him myself but I took a deep breath, stared at him for a minute, turned around, and walked away. I was VERY upset and had I opened my mouth, there would have been a crazy screaming psycho (me) in the middle of the Target check out line at 6 a.m. I wasn't willing to put myself or the other shoppers through that.

For those of you that read about the trauma of the rental house, it's what got me started on this blog after my friend, Jamie, told me about hers, you have a little bit of an idea about how stressed I was. Seeing the man that put me through such a miserable year, was awful but it's over and other than him ... the weekend was great.

Happy Monday!

Don't Agitate the Fish, Please

My boy and I made a visit to Wally World last night for last minute Thanksgiving foodstuffs and supplies of ADVIL (for the headache after the family visits) and we got in trouble by The Fish Guy.

You know the row of Christmas items that is filled with plush toys where you push the button and they make noise, sing a carol, or jingle their bells? Weeeelllll, we just happened to pass by and thought it would be fun to see how many we could get going at one time.

Apparently, fish swimming in tanks don't like all the racket and get a little agitated. The Fish Guy asked us to please stop because of above mentioned agitation. My question is this ... fish don't have ears so how in the heck can a bunch of noise agitate them? I thought he was full of it so I smiled, told him so, and reached over and pushed one more button for good measure ... and THEN, we left.

Kinda bratty but really fun!

Happy Tuesday!

Could Someone Hand Me That Glue Gun, Please?

New rule ... never go out drinking with your boy's old boss because you might say something you'll regret. This post may be a little TMI, and if so, I apologize.

My friend, S, my boy, myself, and my boy's old boss, whom we used to love but haven't seen in a while, went out this weekend. We started at a wonderful little bbq place for dinner ... and had a couple of beers. Next, we hit a little English pub that has karoke because I was feeling a little feisty and wanted to unmercifully tease people ... and had a couple of beers. After that, we hit a little Irish pub ... and had a couple of strong beers.

By this time, I was feeling pretty good and apparently had no shame. Typically, I keep my private life pretty private and don't share details about er, ummm, intimate matters but for some reason, I told my boy's ex boss that once upon a time when my boy was working 100 hour weeks I showed up wearing nearly nothing, brought him dinner, and had relations with my boy on said ex boss' desk. The look on his face was a Kodak moment. The feeling of regret the next morning, priceless.

I have decided to carry a glue gun with me at all times so if I ever feel the urge to share details like that again, I can hot glue my mouth shut. I don't know how I will ever look ex boss in the eye again!

Have a good week!

Who Threw That Ham at Me?

Nothing exciting going on other than the anxiety and hair loss from dreading the family get together next week where I will be accosted by normally sane people that become obsessed with my non-baby state. LOL!! So, I thought I would share a story from my past.

While grocery shopping one day, I saw this little od lady stuffing meat inside of her very large overcoat. Yes, meat ... hamburger, steaks, pork chops, you get the picture. Well, I guess security spotted her as well and were watching her but couldn't do anything until she stepped outside the store.

As the woman was walking out, a ham fell out of her clothing. She immediately turned around and said, "Who threw that ham at me?!" She was highly offended and very verbal about it when security took her to the office to call the police.

I thought this was highly amusing and a very witty comeback and use it frequently whenever I do something that goes wrong. If I bail on girl's night and get busted I just say, "Who threw that ham at me?" If my mother overhears me saying that she is a complete and total nut job when it comes to wanting grandchildren ... again, "Who threw that ham at me?"

I think it's a phrase that really needs to sweep the nation. Let's all join in with a rousing chorus of, "WHO THREW THAT HAM AT ME?!!"

Happy Thursday!

Some People Should NOT Procreate

You should never take a visitor from another office to the smoking place. "Why?" you ask. Let me tell you.

She seemed normal, dressed appropriately, firm handshake, pleasant introduction and then she asked where to smoke. I, being a friendly sort of smoker, volunteered to show her.

I made the mistake of asking how her visit to the office was going. Apparently, not well. She ate at a local Mexican restaurant for dinner last night and it upset her stomach terribly. I was subjected to the most vile conversation that I have ever had with a stranger. As I list some of the words included in this conversation, please remember that I had only met this woman 5 minutes before.

mucus
bowel
rumbling
acid
toilet
bloody

If only I had carried my roll of tape with me, I could have taped her tongue to her chin so that I wouldn't have to listen anymore but, alas, that was not my destiny. I couldn't even leave! She didn't know how to get back to the conference room.

Now, I have heard some nasty things come out of co-worker that doesn't work's mouth but at least I can run away if I really need to. I was stuck and really sick by the time I finished my cig with crazy. Totally ruined my break and has turned me off Mexican food for life. I'm pretty sure that I now need therapy for post traumatic stress syndrome.

I'm going to throw away my salsa now. Happy Tuesday!

Music Appreciation

I am so excited!! I have always loved music and have been singing since I was very young. I think my first big solo performance was in the fifth grade when I sang with the high school choir in my very small town. There were some really upset high schoolers because a youngster had stolen their thunder.

I taught myself to play guitar a few years back so that I could write my own music, which I love doing. (It's a great stress reliever if you have things on your mind that you don't really want to speak to anyone about but need to release some pent up feelings or emotions.) Right now, I have a partially finished cd that I recorded on a friend's recording equipment and I've been writing some more songs to fill it up. This is strictly for me, my friends, and family. I have no delusions that I will become a rock star. It's simply something that I do for my own pleasure.

Anyway, since I began playing the guitar, I have always wanted to learn the mandolin. I think it is such a cool instrument, truly a thing of art. I've never bought myself one because I couldn't justify spending the money on one when I already have this great guitar and flute (this one time at band camp ... lol!) and so many things going on that I don't know how much time I could give to learning a new instrument.

Well, today my boy came home with a beautiful mandolin for me!!! Some guy that he works with bought a bunch of instruments when a music store was going out of business and he is selling them for just above what he paid to make a bit of extra cash. Kind of weird but it works in my favor because I now have this gorgeous mandolin that I've wanted for years at a fraction of the cost! I immediately ran out and got a book on how to play and I sat for a bit tonight and played around with it. Awesome!! Love it!! Love my boy for thinking of me and remembering something that I only stated in passing once!! What a great day!

Tech Boy and His Changes

As many of Tech Boy's fans know, he has been MIA for a while now. I did catch a glimpse of him in the hall today but promptly turned in the other direction when I saw him. Not to worry, I'm sure he'll corner me at some point ... sigh. The rumor is that he took some time off to do intensive marriage counseling with the cheater. Whether or not this is true, I do not know but if so, I should have some interesting stories about him soon.

I can tell you this. He seems to be going through some sort of midlife crisis, what with the tatoo, piercings, and tanning. Now his hair appears to have changed color. I wasn't close enough to tell if it was a dye job or possibly highlights but it looked really odd from my perspective.

Happy Wednesday!

Why? Oh Why?

This is my wonderful, absolutely fabulous historic 1920 house. I love it! I dreamed of having a house like this when I was a little girl so when I bought this place a couple of years ago, I was thrilled beyond belief. This is the day that I closed so it looks a bit different now with a porch swing and an American flag hanging out front. Plus, not so much tree blockage. It has a wrap a round porch that is just amazing to sit on and read, play guitar, or visit with the neighbors.


This is what my living room looked like. Carpeted and RED!! (The picture looks black but it was seriously red.) We knew the original hardwoods were under there and have been procrastinating the restoration because, well, because we knew it was going to seriously suck.



This is what I'm dealing with now. Who in their right minds uses cement to fill in cracks on an original hardwood floor? Was the previous owner a complete and total nut job or what?@! And, why is there a huge section cut out and filled with plywood?


Because we are re-doing the floors, we thought this would be a good time to get rid of the red as well. I think I bit off more than I can chew. And, my boy is hating life right now. After 2 coats of primer, 6 coats of paint, yes 6, and a fight with the Home Depot manager on the fact that the paint looks nothing on the walls like it does on the color swatches, we finally got it right. No pictures of that though.



This is how happy we were on our anniversary last month. I don't think we'll be seeing this much relaxed happiness for a while now.

Sorry for the long picture journey. I hope you enjoy your nicely carpeted homes while I live in Destructo-Land.

Happy Tuesday!

Missing in Action

Sorry to all of you that posted. I was completely enthralled with my new DVR device and felt the need to watch everything on television a few minutes behind the actual program so I could zip through the commercials. Yes, I am that much of a freak!

Anyway, lots to post but have to go work now. For some reason, I decided on Friday that it would be a GREAT idea to rip up the carpet in my living room so we could begin restoring the hardwoods underneath. Well, it has turned into my own private nightmare. I will have some pictures uploaded tomorrow.

Happy Monday!

Halloween Fun

Halloween weekend was great! Two of my boy's oldest friends came to spend the weekend with us and go to the "Best Little ..." Halloween party. We all went out Friday night to a couple of our local hangouts. My friend, S, joined us. Saturday, we got all dressed up and went to the party. It was a blast. The costumes were really fun and I think everyone had a good time.

I took yesterday off (I LOVE Halloween) and we cooked a big pot of chili, carved our pumpkins, watched scary movies all day, and got ready to hand out loads of candy to the trick or treaters. We gave out more than 4 bags and ran out so we had to turn off the porch light and pack it in for the night.

I'll post pictures when I get them developed.

For now, I just got my DVR recording device and I'm off to learn how to use it.

Happy Tuesday!